Dumb asses! All hail your queen!

Yup. That's right, for she is me! Why would I call myself a dumbass? Well it's a pretty fun story.

Yesterday began as a usual morning for me. (Get up, take out the dog, get dressed, brush hair and teeth, pack lunch, walk out, walk to train, hop on train, go to work) Except the one thing that is normally included in those tasks was not done. A couple years ago when I first moved here I locked myself out of my apartment. It sucked. Especially when I was charged almost 50 bucks by the apartment complex, which at time, I was paying 1320 a month to them....still to this day don't know what that money was for...anyways, so I became very paranoid about my keys and I always checked from then on that they were in my bag.

Fast forward to yesterday. I haven't been sleeping well and I was rushing , but felt it was Ok and went on through my workday. I was very queasy and tired, and all I could think about all day was going home and taking a nap. So I get home yesterday afternoon. Reach into my bag for my wad of keys... The keys were not in their spot...BLERG! Frick frick frick. My husband wouldn't be home for another 2 hours so what do I do?? I have no keys and of course the door is locked.

I decided to walk to the office. It was only 4:50. They close at 6:00 so I figured I could just get a spare key real quick and unlock the door and return the key. I walked over to the building to the leasing office where the huge sign on the door reads..9:00 am to 6:00 pm Monday-Friday. But the door is locked..no one is there. Now I'm trying to understand why hours are posted when they truly do not apply to the rental office.

Dejected, I pulled out the cell phone and called maintenance. They have keys for when they go in and "fix things" which really means they go in, look at the dish washer, say yeah it's broken and then we never see them again. The guy answers and I can barely understand him anyways since I'm not latino, but I'm used ot that crap here, and he tells me, he won't do lock outs. I have to call a locksmith. Who wants to charge me 150 bucks. And he is the friend of the maintenance guy. Hello! RIP OFF!

So, while the whole situation is hilarious, deep inside I want to cry. But I calmly walked back to my building and climbed the stairs and sat at the top. Looking at my locked door. Home and a nap was so close but it was like the door just mocked me. I pulled out a paper clip and tried to pick the lock, cuz I'm a ninja like that! Of course I'm a craptastic ninja and it didn't work so I sat down and decided to read.

After about five minutes of reading my book, I got angry and decided I was gonna leave a hate note to the rental office. Apparently, I have very violent tendencies that I harbour. I walked back getting happy at the nasty things I was about to write and the door was open! They had simply been showing an apartment. Sweet and damn at the same time. I was so ready to chew an ass. So I got my key and got into my apartment and all was right with the world again.

Until the next time I do something stupid.....

It's like im pushed over cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse!

Time changes suck. For whatever reason it takes me forever to get used to them. The lack of sleep I think is making me loopy.

I haven't slept well since Saturday, if at all and last night finally went to sleep but woke up several times after having what i guess could be mini nightmares. It's horrible. I'm sitting here at my desk falling asleep but for whatever reason, when I actually want to sleep I can't. I have bouts with insomnia but usually these only last a day or two...but we are on the fifth day..going into the fifth night of no sleep.

I'm miserable. And when nyquil fails you, it's bad.

I guess the good thing with not getting sleep is you have a lot more time to do things. I actually finally finished a book and I have gotten the kitchen so clean you could eat off the floor (although I wouldn't cuz the floor is old and nasty!) I have caught up on my news and celebrity gossip. Too bad we have to sleep...there is so much you could do if you didn't have to sleep! But then again, I lvoe my nice comfy bed, and sure would love to sleep again soon. Maybe tonight! maybe......

Metro Monday

I've decided that every Monday I shall post a new metro story from the week before. I have so many. So here it is..Metro monday 3/9/09.

When I actually do walk fast enough to make the 6:40 train, there is a woman who gets on at the Crystal City stop. She looks liek a mix of Gerrity and Britner. Crazy hair and a canvas bag with a huge ass book. Granted she never sits down when seats are available. She is the door jammer breed.





What is the door jammer? The door jammers are the people who will cluster at the door long before the train reaches their stop. There is always enough time to get off the train and if you don't go to the next stop and come back. But apparently there is this fear. Theya re also the idiots who will just stand in front of the doors and make it difficult for people to board the train. God forbid they move ot teh center of the car...

Anyways, so door jammer, we'll call her Sally, is one of these people. When we reach the station, I get off at the same sopt, she does not just exit the train....she runs as fast as she can all the way up the escalator stairs and through the gate. This is everyday. She runs like she's late. A few weeks ago she ran and gutted herself on the turnstile because her metro card did not work...it was hilarious!

I decided I was going to find out what made Door Jam Sally so panicked. This morning I ran after her. I managed to catch up at the sidewalk and I watched...she ran into STARBUCKS! Every morning, she is in a rush to get to Starbucks....even more alarming is she is rushing to the worst one in DC. (no, make that that second worst, the Penn ave NW is the worst). So she impales herself on the turnstile, about stampedes down the people in front of her, and runs up the escalator.....all for a cup of joe at a shittastic Starbucks. Wow.

How cold is too cold?

Well, I'm thinking it's too cold when the simple act of walking leaves you unable to catch your breath because the cold air has taken it away. And you thighs are stinging from walking one minute up the street. Screw winter.